Action and Consequence Drug Trip Arc Part 2
by Zethsaire
Summary: Heero is in a relationship with Duo now, but that doesn't mean things are perfect. Duo is growing continually jealous, his friends are pressuring him to get a legal job, and he is still hopelessly hooked on heroin and other street drugs. 1x2, 5x6, SxOC, current 3xR but Relena is a bitch, so if you are a fan of this pairing you might not like it.
1. Prologue

Notes: Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the characters, but the story is mine, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't post it elsewhere without asking.

Warnings: There are DRUGS, LANGUAGE, PROSTITUTION AND PROBABLY NCS in this story. (NCS will be marked.) This is not a pretty romance; I'm trying to get a good look at what drugs do to your life. Obviously, if you choose to do drugs, that's fine, and there's no judgement here. However, Heero doesn't want to do drugs, he just can't stop taking them, so that is the point of view this story will be from.

This is a continuation of my story Drug Trip. You could read this one first, but it probably won't make much sense to you, so you might want to go read that first.

Pairings: 1x2, 5x6, SxOC, and current 3xR. This is not a 3xR fic. If you like 3xR you probably don't want to read this, because Relena is going to be a total bitch.

Action and Consequences

Prologue

Journal - June 1st, AC 204

It's been three weeks since Duo made me start keeping a journal. It's supposed to help me keep track of my cravings, I guess. He knows I won't go to counseling, and Sally's been on both of our backs to get me some kind of help. She means well, I guess. Expressing my feelings is...difficult, at best. I'm actually high right now, trying to just...let it out, you know?

Duo and I have been together 'officially' for a month now. It's surreal. I really never thought I'd ever be in a relationship with anyone, especially with Duo. It's hard sometimes; I kind of suck at relationships. The sex is great, but everything else is hard for us. Not that I wasn't expecting it to be, but it still sucks.

The last couple weeks...Duo's been jealous. I go off to work, and he just...looks at me. He swore over and over that it wouldn't be a problem. Now I keep looking over my shoulder expecting him to be following me. It's not like he's angry at me, but he's disappointed. It's the same with the drugs. If I'm just smoking pot he doesn't care; he even joins in sometimes. But he gets that _look_ on his face when I go to Cornelius' to do heroin.

Right, the drug thing. I'd like to say that I'm making progress with that; that's what this stupid journal is for, right? Well, I'm not. The nightmares have been getting worse, even though I've been going to Cornelius' for a hit at least once a week. Methadone doesn't do anything for the cravings; it makes me not completely miserable, I suppose, but other then that? Nothing. I guess I've been hitting the heroin a little hard lately.

I've tried to talk to Duo about it, but he doesn't really understand. I can't quit, he knows that, I guess, but he doesn't really _understand._ I don't even know how to function without drugs at this point. I barely even remember what it's like not to have drugs. Who the hell is Heero Yuy, anyways? It was just a code name anyways, I don't know if I ever had a real name. So how the hell am I supposed to focus on _who_ and _what_ I am without drugs if I don't even know my own damn name! What, am I supposed to do... make it up? Fuck!

Duo thinks he should be able to help me through this. Like he should be able to define me or something. I'm not his fucking bitch! ...I don't mean it like that. It's just...He's been acting weird lately. Like he expects me to just change everything about myself and become something else. I don't even know what. And maybe I should. At least then I'd _be_ something. But if he can't just accept me for who I am now like he promised he would; a drug addict and a whore, well then I just don't know if this is going to work out.

I want it to. I want to be with Duo so bad it hurts. I just...fuck, I don't know. Sex I get. But emotions and relationships and all this jealousy crap – fuck. I don't know how people put up with that shit.

Well, writing this was a waste of time. I'm gonna...I'm gonna go get a hit now. At least I can say I wrote in it. Maybe things will be better tomorrow. I've got a party tonight; we'll see how Duo reacts to that. I hope he doesn't take it badly, I really don't want to deal with his shit right now.

End Prologue

Notes: Yes, I know it's short. Sorry! I still hope you enjoyed it. The formatting on FF sucks, btw. I wanted to have this in a separate font so it would be obvious it's a journal entry. I promise the whole thing won't be like this, it will be 3rd person as before.

Enjoy, and as always, comments and feedback are very welcome!


	2. Chapter 1

Notes: Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the characters, but the story is mine, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't post it elsewhere without asking.

Warnings: There are DRUGS, LANGUAGE, PROSTITUTION AND PROBABLY NCS in this story. (NCS will be marked.) This is not a pretty romance; I'm trying to get a good look at what drugs do to your life. Obviously, if you choose to do drugs, that's fine, and there's no judgement here. However, Heero doesn't want to do drugs, he just can't stop taking them, so that is the point of view this story will be from.

This is a continuation of my story Drug Trip. You could read this one first, but it probably won't make much sense to you, so you might want to go read that first.

Pairings: 1x2, 5x6, SxOC, and current 3xR. This is not a 3xR fic. If you like 3xR you probably don't want to read this, because Relena is going to be a total bitch.

Notes: I know it's early, but this was done, and it's short and so was the last chapter I posted so I thought I'd post it up too!

**Chapter 1**

_ "A line of coke to wake up in the morning, chasing the dragon in the evening; I should force you into a clinic Heero." Trowa said bitterly, glaring at the human wreck that was Heero Yuy.  
_

_ "You forgot smoking pot in the afternoon." Heero said fatalistically, and snorted another line._

_ "Seriously Heero, you're a mess."_

_ "I can't go into a clinic Trowa. They can't help me. Besides, Duo needs me." He looked at Trowa with bloodshot eyes when he said this, then sniffed and rubbed his nose._

_ "Yes. You're doing so much for him as a crackhead." Trowa scoffed, running his finger across the counter-top, wiping off a bit of coke that Heero hadn't snorted._

_ Heero's eyes flashed angrily. "I take care of him. I do! Just ask him. He has no idea...that I can't take care of myself. And it better stay that way." _

_ "I'm not going to tell him Heero, even if I should. Duo should have caught you by now; he's not stupid, he grew up with this shit. He just doesn't want to see you like this, so he doesn't." Trowa sounded defeated; he'd been trying to get Heero to get clean for years._

_ "I know." Heero cleaned up the rest of his coke, scraping the powder off the counter and into a plastic bag. There wasn't much left. He'd have to go get more soon, which involved a stupid amount of lying to Duo so that he could sneak off to his dealer's place._

_ "So what are you going to do about it?" Trowa demanded, snapping Heero back into the miserable present._

_ "What do you want me to do?" Heero asked irritably. He needed to pick up some heroin too; coke helped him stay awake, but heroin took the pain away. Duo also seemed happier when Heero was mellow; sometimes when he was wired on coke, Duo gave him weird looks._

_ "Everyone relies on you. They think you're so strong. They depend on you." Trowa reminded him. Right. For some reason everyone in their inner circle seemed to hold Heero on a Perfect Soldier pedestal. Trowa was the only one who knew how broken Heero was._

_ "You know I'm worthless, Trowa."_

_ "Dammit, Heero!" Trowa looked like he wanted to shake him. "None of us are keeping it together. You could at least admit what's happening."_

_ "You don't understand Trowa." Heero put his coke in the jar where he kept it, up on a cupboard shelf that was too high for Duo to bother ever looking into, and lit a cigarette. "If I admitted it, they'd try to commit me. They'd take Duo away from me. Besides, no one would believe it anyway. They all think I'm someone I'm not. I'm nothing."_

xxx

Heero woke up, coming to all at once, drenched in sweat. He shuddered at the familiar pang of cravings when his body woke and aggressively shoved them down. Compared to the nightmares he'd been having, a dream about the post-war days wasn't that bad. He could manage to tell himself that he didn't need a hit easier when he wasn't dreaming about blood and the corpses of little girls. He shook his head to clear it, and reached over to the dresser for his cigarettes, lighting one up without getting up. Duo wasn't there to yell at him, anyways.

He lit a cigarette and sighed, leaning his head back against the wall. Those were the bad days, right before he'd finally left. He was so strung out at that point he could hardly tell what day it was; could hardly keep Duo from knowing just how many drugs he was on. Part of him wanted to be found out. He was tired, so fucking tired. It was exhausting trying to get through the day, pleasing Duo, his co-workers, whatever useless field partner they'd stuck him with that week, Une, and even the Princess Relena herself. They all wanted a piece of him, and they all expected him to be someone different. He'd never been good at playing parts, that was Trowa's specialty.

During that unfortunate period of his life, he hadn't been picky about the drugs he was taking. He'd take whatever the dealer had at the time, using almost his entire paycheck to buy anything and everything he could get his hands on. He used money from his special 'war savings account' to pay his regular bills - meaning whatever he'd managed to steal from OZ accounts before they were seized at the end of the war. He had a sickening amount hidden away, money he'd never planned on living to be able to use, but it was better off being used to keep Duo happy then sitting in an untouchable Swiss account somewhere.

Missions were the hardest. Une expected his performance to be on par with his efforts during the war. Without the special cocktail of drugs keeping him going, it was extremely difficult to match his work from the war days. His body was still the unrelenting machine it had always been; with Duo insisting on cooking food for him on a regular basis, he'd even managed to put on more muscle, but his mind had difficulty properly utilizing his body. He'd started stealing stimulant patches from Sally's office and using them to stay alert and functioning through the entire mission. He wondered if Sally noticed. If she did, she didn't say anything, though Trowa started getting on his case a lot more after that, so maybe she was complaining to someone who was also unreasonably concerned with Heero's health.

Heero sighed, put out his cigarette and dragged himself out of bed. He stumbled over to the closet and pulled off his pajama pants. He pulled on a white tank top and gray exercise pants – he absolutely refused to wear anything that resembled his black wartime biker shorts. He put his phone and his keys in his pockets and left the apartment, locking it behind him.

At Duo's insistence, he'd started working out again. He couldn't argue about it being bad for him, and gaining some weight would actually help his job – being slim would be a lot better then being scrawny, and even though no one had actually complained, he didn't like looking like a heroin addict.

He jogged for a couple miles, sticking to the suburbs, rather than heading downtown. He ignored all the strange looks he got on the way; even when he was running, he probably looked like a hooker. Traces of glitter and eyeliner will do that to you. He didn't care, he'd made it through an entire war; so he could survive a run.

When he got back, he went to the middle of the living room and started doing push-ups. After he'd done a hundred or so, he switched positions and did sit-ups. Then he got up off the floor with a groan and went to the corner where he kept the weights Duo had insisted on buying him. Duo had bought Heero fifty-pound weights. Heero knew Sally would have a fit and told him that he needed to start with smaller weights. His old training regime would have demanded much heavier ones. The fifty-pound weights were a strain, but they weren't impossible. He did reps until the burn in his muscles let him know that he really needed to stop.

He put the weights down and sat up, drenched with sweat. He shook himself, and went to the shower. He just stood there under the spray, totally numb. He had to go to work soon, and there was a chance he'd see Duo before he left. He didn't want to deal with that. At some point, he and Duo were going to have to sit down and work it out, but Heero was putting it off as long as possible.

He got out of the shower and walked across the apartment naked. Then he opened Duo's closet and looked at his work clothes. Duo had cleared off an entire rack for him to hang his things on, and most of it was taken up with Heero's work clothes, though he had a few normal outfits hanging up too. He just didn't care as much about keeping his lounging clothes wrinkle-free. He ended up choosing a yellow shirt with glittery Asian patterns. He wore it over designer jeans that he was finally starting to fit back into. He'd kept them just in case he was able to gain weight, and he was glad he'd kept them.

Heero went into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet to put his makeup on. The mirror was the only one in the house, and Duo's bathroom was tiny enough that he couldn't even stand up to put it on. Needless to say, this hadn't been an issue Duo had ever had to deal with. He applied glittery gold eye shadow and a dark brown eyeliner to his eyes, then outlined his lips with a dark brown lip liner and applied gloss. He arched a brow at his reflection. He looked like a hooker, but the gold really accentuated his eyes, so he didn't look like a _cheap_ whore. That was a key difference.

Back in the main room, Heero pulled on his stilettos and walked over to the kitchen counter, where he made himself some toast, carefully counted out and took his vitamins, and mixed a protein shake. He'd been taking his medicine regularly for the last month; it was an ingrained habit by now. Toast in hand, he went back over to the kitchen table, where he plopped down in one of the kitchen chairs, put one boot up on the table, and balanced his laptop on his thighs. His fingers flew over the keyboard, pulling up his old accounts. He hadn't thought about those accounts in years, but after last night, he was curious to see how they were. It took him about twenty minutes to hack through his old security, since he'd be damned if he could remember this passwords anymore. He succeeded in pulling up three different accounts, each under a different code name, and each with a disgusting amount of Oz, Romafeller, Alliance and White Fang money. Somewhere he had an account with money that Dr. J had set aside for him, but he really had no interest in getting any money from that man.

He glared at the screen. If he had any of his fake ID's, withdrawing the money would be simple. If he even had a legal bank account of any kind, he could set up a wire transfer and have access to as much of his money as he could transfer at any one time.

It was a lot more difficult to apply for a war orphan's certificate of unknown birth so long after the war was officially over, but it was possible. It was also possible, though unlikely, that applying for one could alert the police that he was living in the country illegally, and he could get arrested. Of course, he could also just break down and call Wufei or Quatre and have them take care of it, but Heero was perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

Duo chose that moment to walk through the door. He was accompanied by his usual takeout boxes. Heero looked up at him from where he was stretched out at the kitchen table. Duo looked happy enough – he was humming to himself as he toed out of his shoes. There was a smudge across his cheek where he'd smeared some grease while repairing something, and he hadn't noticed it.

As soon as Duo looked up and saw Heero in his work clothes, all his happy signs went away. He stopped humming, his mouth compressed into a thin line, and his eyes grew dark and angry. "You goin' to work?"

Heero shut his laptop with an angry snap. "Yes, Duo, I'm going to work."

"I see." Duo stalked over to the kitchen bar and set down the takeout, refusing to even look in Heero's direction. "Do you want any of this before you go?" He bit out.

"I had some toast." Heero replied, swinging his legs off the table and glaring at Duo.

"Toast isn't enough." Duo proclaimed. "You wanna keep looking like a heroin addict?"

Heero set his laptop down gently, keeping himself from throwing it across the room at Duo with sheer force of will and a lifetime of unhealthy respect for electronics. Then he got up and crossed the room, opened one of the take-out containers and started eating the Thai food Duo had brought him. He speared a piece of broccoli angrily and addressed Duo in a deadly voice that he used to reserve for his assassination targets.

"Are you sure you want to do this right now?"

Duo looked at him, and then down at his Thai food. "If you don't want to talk about it, we won't talk about it."

"I'm eating, and then I'm going to work." Heero said, daring Duo to argue with him.

"Fine." Duo took his Thai and stalked off to the other side of the room and plopped himself down at the kitchen table. He was sulking – he wouldn't even look at Heero. Heero responded by scarfing down his Thai as fast as he could, grabbing his keys, phone and cigarettes, and slamming the door behind him on his way out.

He normally scheduled clients in advance. Today he'd booked three appointments – a dinner date and two after-dinner screws. The dinner date was with an older gentleman – a doctor who insisted on taking him out time and again without any actual sex involved. He claimed he just wanted someone pretty around to accompany him at social functions and keep him from being bored. Heero didn't get it at all, but the man paid his usual fee so he didn't complain.

The two screws were regulars who had a thing for Asian men. Cornelius had helped set up Heero with both of them over a year ago, and they had never tried to slip him drugs or do anything too extraordinarily kinky. As far as evening fucks went, they weren't bad. He'd never been able to find clients without Cornelius; he was a terrible judge of character long-term. He usually did a good job with short-term judgment, but finding permanent clients was never his thing.

Heero finished his work around midnight, and he still didn't feel like going home. He was full of toast, Thai food, lobster and liquor, and he sure as hell didn't want to go to a bar or go mope at Cornelius', even if he did feel like getting high. His drug dealer would just want to talk about his relationship problems, which was not something he wanted to do right now.

So instead, he went to one of the street corners in the gay red-light district downtown. He stood at a street corner outside Marty's bar, one of the most notorious gay underground strip clubs, and stood under one of the lamps. He lit a pot cigarette, leaning against the post with practiced ease – seductive, open, available and enticing. He didn't even have to work at it any more.

"Hey Yamato, haven't seen you in a while. Business not good anymore?" Marty was a middle aged Englishman, big and old and tough. He ran the bar and watched out for the hookers who used his bar as a front for their business.

"Hey Marty." Heero greeted the owner. "Business is fine. I just don't feel like going home yet. You mind if I use your post?"

The owner snorted and crossed his arms, giving Heero a very obvious once-over. "Are you kidding? You'll bring customers in just standing there. But if any cops come, I don't know you."

"Know me? I'm lost. I've never been here before in my life. What, this post? I just stopped for a smoke before I tried to figure out how to get home." Heero said automatically.

Marty gave him a leering grin. "You're hilarious. I'm going to head back inside. You holler if anyone gives you a hard time."

"Sides cops, of course."

"Of course. Take care, Yamato."

Yamato smoked there and people watched. Marty was right – he _was_ bringing people to the bar just standing there. No one that walled past really caught his eye. Most of the crowd was young – his age or younger. He tended to feel more comfortable with an older crowd – he didn't feel like he had anything in common with people his age. And people his age tended to expect him to do all sorts of things that he didn't feel comfortable doing.

A car rolled by slowly, and a man rolled his window down. "Hey gorgeous, you wanna go for a ride?"

Heero flicked his eyes over the man's car, face and clothes. His car was nice, his suit was expensive and his face was clean, but there was something about him that practically screamed. 'Don't go there.' Heero had been trained to read body language instantly, and this man was violent and probably dangerous. His eyes moved away.

"No thanks." Maybe it was the complete dismissal in Heero's tone, but the man didn't try to ask him again, he just drove away.

A few minutes later, a very sleek, very expensive sports car stopped at the curb next to Heero. His eyebrows rose – this car was _way_ too nice for this part of town. He could hear raised voices behind the tinted glass. In fact, he could have sworn he recognized the voice that was currently swearing in fluent Mandarin.

Finally the window eased down, and a flustered and angry Wufei Chang glared out at him. "That better not be pot in those cigarettes." He growled.

Heero just smirked, and relaxed into a sexy pose, just to see the look on Wufei's face. "Aren't you off duty, Chang?"

"Just get _in, _Saito!" Wufei growled.

"Fine. Hey, Marty, I'm leavin'!" He called towards the bar.

One of the bouncers gave a nod, and he knew they'd let Marty know. The older man could be fiercely protective, and he considered all the hookers who sold themselves around his property to be his responsibility. He didn't take a cut, and he wasn't officially anyone's pimp, but he kept an eye out for them. It was kind of him. Heero could protect himself well enough as long as he wasn't tripping balls, but most of the other girls and guys weren't so well off.

He flicked his cigarette butt at the cement and ground it out with his boot to make sure it w as really out. Then he opened the back door to Zechs' sports car and slid in onto the leather interior. As expected, Zechs was sitting in the driver's seat, dressed for clubbing in a very form fitting black shirt that starkly contrasted with his blonde hair and pale skin. He was grinning as Heero buckled himself in, and there was no denying the lust in his eyes. Heero wondered if Wufei was giving to kick his boyfriend's ass. Well, as long as they didn't want a threesome.

"Stop looking at him like that and _drive_ Merquise."

Zechs chuckled darkly and did what Wufei asked. "Anything for you, Wufei."

"So, you let him take you clubbing Chang?"

"That is none of your damn business, Saito." Wufei growled.

"Yes, I did." Zechs said. "He enjoyed it more than I thought he would. Though it takes an awful lot of alcohol to get him to relax though. Hence the no driving."

There was more swearing in Mandarin. If Heero didn't know better, he could swear that Wufei was blushing. "Did you pick me up to brag about Wufei's social progress?"

"No actually, I'd like to bring you home, but I think Wufei might castrate me. He's like that."

More strangled swearing.

"Wufei had informed me I am not his type. So if you didn't want to fuck me, why did you pick me up? I'm trying to make money here."

"I have a job for you; I just can't have you sleep with me. I'm having a party next weekend – Wufei's and my's 6th month anniversary. I want you to strip for my party."

"You-" Heero stared at Zechs, and at Wufei, and back at Zechs. Wufei didn't look nearly horrified enough, and Zechs looked entirely too happy about it.

Wufei coughed. "It's my coming out party. I'm inviting...people."

"A coming out party, for you." Heero smirked. "Yeah, I can do that."

"I'll give you three grand, and you won't have to sleep with anyone. For Wufei's sanity."

Wufei snarled something about Zechs' mother and equestrians in Mandarin. Heero snickered under his breath and muttered something about Wufei's ancestors not approving of his rudeness. "Don't you use Mandarin against me." Wufei said. "Just say you'll do it so I can watch you strip at my party."

"Of course, Wufei." The car stopped. He looked out the window and realized that they were in front of Duo's apartment. "Seriously, you brought me home? I don't want to go home."

"I'm drunk and tired and embarrassed as fuck talking to anyone much less you about my coming out party. Now shut up and get out of my boyfriend's car."

Heero nodded and got out, saving Wufei as much dignity as he had left. He watched them roll away, and pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it, staring after the car long after it was out of sight. Well, Heero finally had a decent job offer. It paid well and wouldn't require him to screw anyone. Now he just had to tell Duo, without having him flip out. It would be easy. Duo was a big boy, he could take it. Really.

**End Chapter 1**

Notes: Horray, another chapter finished! I tried a new writing style for Action and Consequence; I'm trying to focus on actions rather then emotions, and make the Gundam boys a little more manly. Because honestly, at least Trowa and Wufei would act 'manly' anyways, and while Heero's personality is all over the place from the drug abuse, I still don't feel like he should be swinging around like a lady on the rag. Quatre's personality will probably stay the same, but Duo's is going to change. Originally, I wanted Duo to have bi-polar disorder, but never really brought it up in the original fic much. It will be more evident in this one.

Yay, Trowa was in this chapter (sort of). I promise I'm getting to him; he IS going to be in this fic, and he and Quatre will probably have a few chapters of their own. But the plot hasn't brought them together yet.

As I posted on Incubus, school is starting again and I have several video game and comic projects I'm a part of, so my writing might suffer as a result. I'm not forgetting about these fics; I have whole outlines done and I know what I want to do with them, I just don't know how frequently they'll be updated. I can say that comments encourage me to write more, so if you want a chapter to come out faster, you might want to let me know.

Thanks again for reading!


	3. Chapter 2

Notes: Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the characters, but the story is mine, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't post it elsewhere without asking.

Warnings: There are DRUGS, LANGUAGE, PROSTITUTION AND PROBABLY NCS in this story. (NCS will be marked.) This is not a pretty romance; I'm trying to get a good look at what drugs do to your life. Obviously, if you choose to do drugs, that's fine, and there's no judgement here. However, Heero doesn't want to do drugs, he just can't stop taking them, so that is the point of view this story will be from.

This is a continuation of my story Drug Trip. You could read this one first, but it probably won't make much sense to you, so you might want to go read that first.

Pairings: 1x2, 5x6, SxOC, and current 3xR. This is not a 3xR fic. If you like 3xR you probably don't want to read this, because Relena is going to be a total bitch.

Notes: In this chapter, **bolded **words are indicative of text messaging and phone calls. I had used other symbols in my original manuscript, but blocks them when I upload it. Sigh.

Chapter 2

"No. Absolutely not! No fucking _way_." Duo said angrily.

Duo hadn't taken the news well. Heero probably should have waited until the next day to tell Duo, but he wanted to get it out of the way as soon as possible. He hadn't known that Duo was drunk either.

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you." Heero said firmly, determined not to fight. He should have known better the moment he walked in, because Duo had been waiting up for him. Duo had looked completely miserable, sitting there on the futon with a cigarette in his mouth and a mostly empty bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. But Heero hadn't really taken any of that in; he'd just opened his mouth and spilled everything about the party. Now he wished he'd kept his mouth shut.

Since then, Duo had risen to his feet, and was now pacing unsteadily in front of the futon. "Why even bother fucking telling me, then? You obviously don't give a shit about what _I_ think. I'm only your boyfriend for fuck's sake. I don't' know why, but for some reason the thought of all our friends and coworkers watching you strip just _gets_ to me!" Duo was grinning, but it wasn't a happy expression – it was more like a baring of teeth. It was dark, and it reminded Heero _far_ too much of the days of the war.

"Duo..."

"No. _No_ dammit! Wufei is the only one of our friends you haven't slept with and I -"

"Don't fucking go there." Heero snarled. Duo was deliberately pushing his buttons, trying to piss him off enough to make Heero lash out with violence. Duo was itching for a fight; whether he wanted to win or lose, Heero couldn't tell, but there was an angry, dangerous gleam in Duo's eyes.

Heero took a deep breath, and shoved all his emotions down deep where they couldn't interfere. He couldn't fall apart right now; Duo needed him to be strong. "Duo, I love you."

The comment seemed to catch Duo off guard. He stopped yelling, and just looked at Heero. Heero took the opportunity to close the gap between them and place his hands gently around Duo's waist. He looked up into Duo's eyes and said it again. "I love you."

"I...love you too, Heero." Duo's voice was also quiet now, to match Heero's. He was still very unhappy though, and he looked like he wasn't done yelling yet.

Heero guided Duo back to the futon and made him sit down, and then slid himself onto Duo's lap. Duo looked startled, and his arms instantly found their way around Heero's waist and chest, pulling him close. Heero didn't mind. He relaxed against Duo, letting his body fix the mess his mouth had gotten him into . Duo seemed calmer now that he had a lap full of Heero. At least he hadn't started yelling again.

"You're the only one I make love to." Heero said carefully, not wanting to set Duo off again. "You're the only one I let hold me like this. You're the only one I ever kiss. You're the only one I'll sleep with when I'm not high. I know it's not everything you wanted, but it's what I can give you."

The tension was back in Duo's muscles, and he pulled Heero closer to him in a possessive hug. Heero let him, and breathed the comforting, strong scent of Duo. He wanted to take a shower – the fact that he probably smelled like other men wasn't helping him at this point.

"I told you it wouldn't matter, when we started dating." Duo said finally. "I really didn't think it would. I don't look down on prostitutes. It's a living, and it sure beats killing people. Objectively I get that, and it's never been a problem before. But -"

He broke off, burying his hands in Heero's hair, turning Heero's head so Heero wouldn't see him cry. Heero let him do that too, though he wondered at the tears. Duo hadn't cried much before, either during the war or during their miserable attempt at a relationship afterwards. Now it seemed like Heero made Duo cry all the time. He wondered what he was doing wrong. If he constantly made Duo cry, what did that say about their relationship, and about Heero?

"But you're _mine._" Duo continued, with a wavering voice. "For so long I thought I'd never get you back. Hell, I didn't think you'd ever remember you had been mine that night, much less choose to stay with me. And now that you have, and you're with me, actually _with_ me, I can't stand the thought of someone else's hands on you. I want you to touch me, love _me_! I don't _want_ to share you. I know it's selfish and stupid, but I can't help it."

"...You want me to find another job, don't you." Heero said quietly.

"Yes!" Duo said instantly. Then he sighed, "I don't know what though. I know you won't go back to Preventers."

"No." Heero agreed, and reached up and kissed Duo gently. "I could get a job stripping if I get a legal ID. I know it's still not what you want, but would that help?" He was willing to make _some_ compromises. He wasn't going to let Duo buy his drugs, and he wasn't going to go crawling back to Une, but he could strip for a living. He could put up with Wufei or Quatre, to get a legal ID and make Duo happy.

"It would help." Duo admitted, kissing Heero's throat and neck.

Heero let out the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. Crisis averted – for now. "Let's go shower. I don't want to smell like anyone but you."

Duo seemed to really like that idea. Heero helped him stagger into their ridiculously tiny bathroom and into the shower. Now that his anger was subsiding, the alcohol was definitely affecting Duo. Heero undressed and put his work clothes in the wash with Duo's, which reeked of alcohol and cigarettes.

Then he climbed into the shower with Duo. The man hadn't gotten very far with washing his hair, so Heero took it out of its braid and massaged shampoo into it. Duo was doing his best to just stay standing, and there was so little room in the shower that Heero was pressed right up against Duo's back. He scrubbed shampoo into his hair as well, and then stood under the spray with Duo, pressing kisses all over his skin. He wasn't sure how receptive Duo would be, but he was already half hard.

Heero helped Duo rinse his hair and apply conditioner. Then he maneuvered his way around so he was in front of Duo, and pulled his lover down for a long, hot kiss full of tongue. "Stay standing for me baby." He lowered himself down onto his knees and stroked Duo's cock lovingly.

He then proceeded to give Duo a very tender, very long and very thorough blow job. Heero wasn't very good at expressing himself verbally even after all these years of attempting to mimic the behavior of other human beings. But that didn't mean his mouth was useless at communicating. Sex could mean a lot of things – it could be an enjoyable, yet forgettable experience between clients and himself, or it could be a completely mindless fuck, or it could express the feelings that Heero had no other way to deal with. His body had gotten very good at communicating sexually and he'd always been better with his hands during the war.

The water was cooling by the time Duo tangled his fingers in Heero's hair and came with a strangled sound of pleasure. Heero swallowed it without even being asked, relishing the taste of Duo in his mouth. While they still used condoms for anal sex, after Heero's test had come back negative, he'd stopped having oral sex with clients so that he could enjoy Duo's cock without the taste of latex getting in the way. It was completely worth it.

He reached behind them and turned the water off, and kissed his way up Duo's chest and to his mouth again. Then he helped his boyfriend out of the shower. Duo was too far gone to take care of his enormous amounts of hair himself, so Heero squeezed the water out of it and toweled it dry – as dry as it was going to get from a first drying anyways. Then he gave Duo's a towel, and sent him off to the bedroom.

Then Heero got Duo's brush, a hair tie, a comb, two extra towels and the leave-in conditioner and headed into the bedroom himself. Duo had passed out on the bed already, the towel still dangling from his arm which was stretched out over the end of the bed. Heero picked it up and put it into the clothes basket, and moved Duo's arm so it was completely on the bed.

He climbed onto the bed, still naked except for his towel-wrapped hair. He went to work on Duo's hair, brushing it out a section at a time, letting the extra towel soak up some of the excess moisture. When he'd gotten most of the tangles out, he gently applied the conditioner, and combed it through the entire length of Duo's hair. Then he gathered the whole mass up and braided it into a single, neat braid, which he wrapped in the last dry towel to dry over night.

Then he went over to the closet and pulled out a pair of boxers to sleep in. He pulled the sheets out from underneath Duo and arranged the blankets on top of his boyfriend. Before he got in bed, he took his phone off the dresser and texted Quatre.

**Call me when you get up. ~H.**

He turned off the lights and slid into the bed next to Duo. He cuddled up against Duo's broad, warm back and fell asleep.

xxx

Heero's phone woke him up only a few hours later with a harsh, incessant ring. It was just past five in the morning. Duo moaned and pulled his pillow over his head, pulling Heero closer to him at the same time. As usual, they had become entangled during the night; one of Heero's legs was stuck between Duo's, Duo's arms were everywhere,and Heero's head had ended up on Duo's chest instead of his back.

"Duo, I have to answer that." He said, before extracting himself from the tangle of limbs. Duo whimpered at the absence of his warm body. Heero sighed and tucked the blankets around him so he wouldn't get cold, then raced to pick up the phone before Quatre hung up.

"Hello?" he knew his voice sounded exhausted, but he couldn't help it.

**Heero? Is this a good time? I got your message and I'm on L4, so I have no idea what time it is.** Quatre's concern came through the line, even if Heero didn't have video feed.

"No. It's fine. I needed to talk to you." Heero dug a battered tank-top out of the laundry and took his cigarettes off the nightstand before leaving the room so Duo could go back to sleep.

**Oh, is everything alright?** Since Heero never called, it was natural for Quatre to assume something was wrong.

"Things are fine." Heero said unhelpfully, setting the phone down for a second to pull the tank-top over his head.

Heero picked the phone back up and continued, "Things could be better. I want a legal job."

Quatre was silent for a moment as he processed everything Heero _hadn't_ said. **Heero, do you have a legal ID?**

"No." Heero sighed heavily. He opened the door of the apartment and went outside to smoke over the railing.

**Well, if you work a show for me as my bodyguard, I could acquire a legal ID for you. I assume that's why you called?**

Heero hoped Quatre would figure it out. He'd always been very perceptive. "Yes. Wufei offered to get me legal ID as well, but I'd have to officially re-join Preventers, and Une would have to sign off on it. I really would rather not do that." he explained, lighting a cigarette.

**I understand. Is there – I mean, are you and Duo having problems?**

"..." Heero finished his cigarette in silence.

**Heero, do you really think it's a good idea to work for me if you and Duo are having problems?** Quatre's concern bled through the phone line and made Heero distinctly uncomfortable.

"I need a legal job. That will help things between us." Heero said shortly. "I can't get an ID without help or hacking. And I don't want to rejoin Preventers."

**Making me your only option. I understand. Look, I have a charity concert in DC in a month. If you agree to be my bodyguard, I can rush the application. One of my sister's who speaks to me is a lawyer, we can get the documents drawn up and submitted today. I can bring the passports with me Earthside at the end of the week – are you going to Wufei's party?**

"I think so." Heero temporized. He needed to bring it up to Duo again when they were both more awake.

**Right, so I'll see you there.**

If only he knew.

**The application should be processed digitally in a day or two, so you can have access to a legal, digital ID. All I need is an approximate age; I know you don't know birth location or date. Is L1 okay for a colony birth location?**

"That's fine. Though, I really don't know if I was born there or not. I remember being on lots of different colonies." As a child assassin, but he didn't bring that up either. "I'm approximately 24."

**You should get dental scans done at some point; they can be more accurate. Duo and Trowa both got them done.**

"I did, when I joined Preventers." Heero informed him bitterly. "The results were inconclusive."

Quatre didn't have anything to say to that. Heero had dreaded the results, wondering what they would tell him. In the end, it only confirmed what he feared about himself; that he'd never been properly born at all, and had instead been put together in a lab somewhere.

**Well...** Quatre said after a moment. **I can get that taken care of for you Heero. I'm happy to help.**

"Thank you Quatre, I appreciate it." he really did. There weren't many people he could turn to these days.

**It's slightly less legal, but I can register your war name and your street name, if you'd like. In case you ever want to be Heero Yuy officially again.**

"That would be good." Though he wasn't ever expecting to become his old self officially, it was nice that he would have that option.

**Alright, well I'll let you go.** Quatre said after an uncomfortable silence. **We'll talk more about the concert when I see you, ok?**

"Sure. Goodbye, Quatre."

**See you soon, Heero.**

Heero hung up. He sighed and stretched his stiff muscles. As much as he'd like to go back to sleep now, that wasn't an option. He'd gotten out of bed and smoked three cigarettes already; there was no way he was going back to sleep. He reluctantly began his usual afternoon routine at six in the morning. He changed, went for a run, did his sit ups, pushups, lifted weights and showered. Then he made himself breakfast and took his medicine while he ate it.

His whole body was craving a hit. It had been three days since he'd been to Cornelius; more than long enough for the cravings to set in. He had a dime bag of cocaine in the closet, and another of powered heroin. He wanted them, badly, but he forced himself to take one of his methadone pills instead. He didn't want to be completely useless all day, not when he'd gotten up so early, and if he was going to try to get a legal job, that meant legal prescription medicine and not street drugs. He really didn't know if he'd make it; he'd been down this road dozens of times without success. But he had to try.

Now that his daily routine was complete, Heero was instantly and insufferably bored. He looked at his laptop, still on the table from last night, and picked it up. He headed to the futon and plopped down on it. It still smelled like cigarettes, alcohol and Duo. They _really_ needed to stop smoking in the apartment.

Thinking about apartments, Heero booted up his computer and began running a search for available apartments and small houses near Duo's current place. He didn't want Duo to have to be farther from work, but they seriously needed a bigger living space if Heero was going to stay here. It was cramped even for one person – with two it was almost unbearable.

By the time Duo crawled out of bed several hours later, Heero had come up with a short list of possible housing locations, called and talked to various landlords and realty agents, and checked his accounts again to confirm that yes, he could afford anything on his list, even if Duo couldn't.

"Morning baby." Heero said when Duo stumbled out of the bedroom. "You want some coffee?"

"Yes, please." Duo managed, before bolting for the bathroom.

Heero heard him being sick, and wondered if he should go in there. He decided against it. Duo would be embarrassed, and there was nowhere to stand anyways. Instead, he made Duo coffee and toast with a little butter on it, light enough to hopefully not irritate his stomach further.

Duo came out of the bathroom sometime later, and sat down at the kitchen table. "Thanks." He said sincerely, taking a bite out of his toast.

"Sure."

They looked at each other for a while, and an uneasy silence filled the room. Duo fiddled with his braid, and finally asked, "Did you braid my hair last night? I don't really remember what happened."

"You were very drunk." Heero informed him with a nod.

"Yeah. I know." Duo made a face. "I brushed my teeth three times and my mouth still tastes awful. I remember, I was really mad at you too – but I'm not angry now. Did we work it out or something?"

"I told you I'd look into getting a legal job." Heero said quietly, not wanting to re-tell their entire argument.

"You...you did?" Duo asked, clearly surprised. "I-that's great. I mean, I want you to, but you don't have to. I just-uh, well..."

"You have a problem sharing me." Heero finished for him.

"Yeah. Something like that. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be an overprotective and possessive boyfriend, I just...am."

"You think I'm going to leave you." Heero didn't quite manage to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Duo curled up into his chair, making himself as small as possible. "Yeah."

"I'm still going to strip at Wufei's party." Heero said firmly. "He wants me to; to have someone who will put on a nice show without mortifying him. It's his coming out party – I want him to enjoy it, not be embarrassed. He will be more comfortable with people he knows."

Duo's mouth hardened into a thin line, but he didn't immediately disagree. Heero could tell he was working through his reasoning. "I guess I can't argue with you on that." Duo said finally. "But I don't like it. I don't want Zechs staring at you like that." He scowled.

"Wufei will make him behave. And you'll be right there the whole time. You'll watch me, won't you?"

"Of course!" Duo exclaimed. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I just thought you might be ashamed of me." Heero admitted.

Duo's response was instant. "_Fuck_ no. I love you."

"I love you too." Heero said, relieved. "I don't know if you have plans today or not...but I was hoping we could go look for new living arrangements. I made a list of places, I didn't know if you wanted an apartment or a house, and I covered a range of pricing options. Duo?"

Duo was staring at him in shock. "You want to go apartment shopping with me? After the huge ass fight we had?"

Heero felt himself getting angry. "I'm trying to improve our relationship Duo. I'm getting a legal ID, trying to get a legal job, and taking my prescribed medication. I want things to work out between us. I want to keep living together, but I can't stand this apartment. It's too small. I want to get something bigger. Do you not want to live with me?"

"Yes! Fuck yes! I just didn't think...I mean, fuck, you've been so good about everything, and I just...well, fuck." Duo sniffed, and rubbed his face on his sleeve.

Heero was immediately concerned. "Did I make you cry again? I keep doing that and I don't know why. You never used to cry before."

"Oh this?" Duo gestured to his face, suddenly embarrassed. "Don't worry about this. It just happens."

"You make it sound like you're sick or something."

Duo let out a laugh that didn't sound entirely sane. "Don't you worry, crazy isn't catching. I kinda lost it when you left; Sally diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. I'm just like I used to be, 'cept there's even _more_ of me to love."

"Bipolar disorder?" Heero asked. "That's a seriously debilitating condition."

"Thanks." Duo said sarcastically. "It's not _debilitating._ Sally wanted me to take pills, but I told her to fuck off. I'm still _me_, I just get more angry, or more happy, or more stressed then I used to. Just _more_ of me, you know? The crying sucks ass, but I deal with it."

Heero gave him the Look, but Duo gave it right back to him.

"I really don't want to discuss the ramifications of my mental illnesses. If you want to go look at apartments, lets go look at apartments."

"Okay." Heero said, dropping the subject. "Let's go get dressed then."

"Yeah."

They headed into the bedroom, Duo going to his dresser, and Heero heading to the closet. Heero had never seen Duo wear anything from his closet in the whole time he'd lived there. He wondered what the purpose of having all those clothes was if he wasn't going to wear them. Heero dressed conservatively in his dark blue jeans, black button up shirt and combat boots. He struggled with his hair, before giving up and tying it back. He slung his Preventers jacket over his shoulder and turned around to look at Duo.

His boyfriend had chosen to wear dark blue jeans as well, with sneakers and a black tank top with a dark red shirt on over it. He looked very good in it – even though he didn't fight any more, he worked all day lifting and assembling things and he'd kept all the muscle he'd had during the war. He'd filled out even more since then, building more muscle as he grew. The result was a highly competent, highly attractive young man, who still kept a knife in his boot and could probably still pick any lock he wanted, though he was rather too large to melt into the shadows like he once had.

Heero wanted nothing more than to take all of Duo's clothes back off and make love to him right there. He resisted; Duo's mood was still dark and angry, and while the sex would keep Duo's mind off it for a little while, it wouldn't' solve the problems they were facing. As much as Heero desperately wished sex could solve all their problems, he knew better.

They took Duo's truck, and Heero read addresses off his list. They spent most of the day looking at various apartments . It was a lot more exhausting then Heero was expecting it to be. He'd never put much thought or care into his living arrangements before; except to sweep the place for bugs and set up security networks. From the slightly glossy-eyed dazed stare that Duo started to get later on in the day, Heero thought Duo might have felt the same.

They finally got to the last place on the list, which was the one that Heero secretly hoped Duo would like the best. Most of Brussels had given way to apartment complexes, but there were still a few areas where you could get a house without being too far away from the city. This house was on a quiet street filled with older houses. One of the houses was older than the rest, run down and in need of some serious love. Duo groaned at the sight of the peeling paint and weeds, but Heero took his hand and squeezed it.

"I know it's run down, but come inside with me."

Heero reached up onto the door-frame and pulled down a key, which he used to unlock the door. There was no landlord present; he'd made an appointment in advance, and had been told where they key was. Of course, if they got the house, there would be a lot of security improvements. He opened the door and led Duo inside. The floors were paneled with real wood – normally not a luxury they could have afforded, they scratched and in need of wax, which helped bring down the price.

There was a fireplace in the main room, which still worked, though it needed to have some of the stone replaced. There were three small rooms leading off the main room, and then a kitchen through the door at the end of the room, with a small bathroom and a larger room with windows that ran almost floor to ceiling. They needed some work as well, and could benefit from curtains, but the view was nice, and the room would get plenty of sunshine during the day.

A door led out onto a porch, and there were stairs that led down to a laundry room and basement. They had a backyard surrounded by a wooden fence and shrubs. It was overgrown, but there was enough room to set up a hot tub, or hammock, or even have a small garden if they wanted.

"I want to fix it up." Heero said, talking to fill the unnerving silence that filled their tour.

"...You do?" Duo seemed surprised.

"Yeah. I want to repaint the outside, trim the grass and bushes and re-mulch the garden. The floor will be really nice once it's sanded and re-waxed. I could take the bricks out of the fireplace and re-build it with stone instead. The rooms are small; if I knock out the walls in the middle room, the two other rooms could be extended, giving us a nice bedroom and office. I want to enlarge the closet for you. The backyard could look really nice with some work. And all the walls need repainting." Heero found he was smiling as he talked about all the work that he wanted to do on the place.

"You really do want to do all that, don't you?" Duo said, watching his face. "I know how to paint – I could help with that. And of course if we need plumbing or electrical work, I could help with that. But I've never done any kind of house construction, so sanding and knocking down walls is beyond me. It sounds really...involved."

"It would give me something to do." Heero admitted. He was going to need something to keep his mind off drugs and sex. "But do you like it? Can you imagine it, finished? The neighborhood is quiet and unobtrusive – I researched it. And I can afford it."

Duo's eyebrows rose in disbelief.

Heero explained quickly, "I'm going to have access to some wartime accounts soon. I'd like to spend them on something worthwhile."

Duo ran his hand against the stone of the fireplace, considering. Then he grabbed Heero and pulled him up on his toes to engage him in a fierce tongue-locking kiss. "I thought I'd dreamed that. You're really quitting your job?"

"i am. It'll be a few days before I can get my accounts, but I'm quitting, soon." Heero promised.

His boyfriend took one last look around, and grinned wryly. "If this was the one you wanted, we could have just come here first."

"What, you didn't like house shopping?" Heero said, knowing now that Duo hadn't liked it at all.

Duo grimaced. "No."

Heero laughed. "Good to know. Let's go. I've talked to the landlord already; I told her I'd be paying in cash so there's no credit check, but I can't start working on it until I pay."

He locked the door behind them, and placed the key under the mat. "She let the neighbors know we'd be stopping by. That's why no one made a fuss."

"And you don't think they'll have a problem with us screwing each other all over the house?" Duo asked.

Heero smirked as he slid into Duo's truck. "I'm not the one who screams."

**Chapter 2 End**

Author's Notes: Hope you all enjoyed the chapter! I know it's been a while, but I'm still working on this fic and Incubus, slowly but surely! Every semester I continue with my master's degree the more crazy it gets, so I have no idea when the next chapter will be. Comments really help motivate me though. :3 I hope you like where this fic is going...and yes, eventually we will get to Trowa! I promise! It's like...3 chapter from now, I think? Forgive me Trowa fans!


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